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Love as Theatre
[Published in R.C. Solomon and K. Higgins, eds., The Philosophy of 'Erotic'
Love. Univ. of Kansas Press, pp. 477-491, 1992.]
ABSTRACT
When my love swears that she is made of truth
I do believe her, though I know she lies
William Shakespeare
In this paper I describe four problematic features of romantic love, which
make literally impossible demands. These must drive us either to simple
self-deception or to some other, more sophisticated response. Although
we cannot, by definition, live the impossible, we can sometimes represent
it – as witnessed by art as diverse as the poems of Homer and the drawings
of Escher. In that vein, the alternative I suggest is that we attempt to
apprehend the unattainable realizations symbolized by the impossible demands
of romantic love by conscious, mutually consenting playing at love.
I argue that a certain sort of sexual encounter, self-consciously limited
to the present moment and without commitment to any subsequent relationship
of any particular form, is a civilized successor to the old notion of romantic
love. I shall call this the theater of love.
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